Certain topics are generally avoided on first dates.
These include politics, why you broke up with your ex, medical issues, living with your parents, and generally finances. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but the idea of a first date has been that it’s a bit about getting to know the other person on a superficial level – more like “she likes hockey and comic book movies like me do “opportunity only a chance to dig deep.”
Apparently that is changing. According to a new report from Bankrate.com, millennials (ages 23-38) are almost twice as likely as older generations to be willing to talk about money at the start of a romantic relationship.
something to tell
About a third (35%) of millennials will talk about salary, credit score and student loan or credit card debt on a first date, compared to 18% among older people. Nearly two-thirds (62%) of millennials surveyed said knowing their date’s credit score could impact whether they want to go on another date. Only 51% of people in older age groups felt this way.
“Money can be a sore subject, but it tends to bring several important factors into focus when considering a future partner,” FX analyst Amanda Dixon said in a press release. “Bad credit and poor financial habits could be an indicator of deeper issues such as immaturity and irresponsibility. While it may seem taboo to talk about finances on the first date, don’t be so quick to swipe left to talk about money.”
Across all age groups surveyed, most Americans (67%) still find money an uncomfortable topic on a first date. About half (55%) believe excessive credit card debt could cause them to break off a relationship.
What should you do?
It is very important to talk about money with a potential partner. However, it’s usually rare that a first date determines whether you’ll end up having a relationship with someone.
There’s no perfect time to bring up your potential partner’s credit score, but it should be discussed. Instead of making it an accusatory situation, talk about money once it’s clear the relationship can get serious by working on your individual goals. If you’re really hoping to own a home or travel the world, well, both of those things cost money. This is an area of honesty, where admitting past mistakes is okay as long as there is a plan for the future.
Money should be discussed along with all other matters. If the partners have different financial goals, they either have to compromise or decide that the relationship won’t work.
It can be very uncomfortable when one person earns more than the other or has a lot more debt. These situations, however, require even more discussion. You don’t need to make all the decisions covering the rest of your life, but it’s important to understand the basics and have a framework for how your joint finances might work.
Money is a subject that should be discussed at the start of a relationship, but perhaps not on a first date. It’s an uncomfortable area, but avoiding it could lead to major problems if the relationship turns into something serious.